Babangida,Obasanjo,Abacha

Funny story

In a nursery 2 class, a little girl asks, "Teacher, can my Mum get pregnant?"
Teacher: How old is ur mother?'
Little girl: she is 40
Teacher: O yes she can get pregnant.
Little girl: Can my big sis get pregnant?
Teacher: How old is your big sis?
Little girl: She is 19
Teacher: Of course ya sister can certainly get pregnant
Little girl: So wat of me, can I get pregnant?
Teacher: How old are you, dear?
Little girl: I'm 5 years
Teacher: No, dear,u can't get pregnant
Den,d little boy behind d little girl gives her a poke&says, 'See, I told u we had nothing 2 worry about!

Donkey story.

Donkey story.
This is an old story but I can bet you have not heard this version.
One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway. It just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.
He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.
A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
As the farmer’s neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off.
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stones. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up. Shake it off and take a step up.
Remember the five simple rules to be happy.
1. Free your heart from hatred…..Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries---Most of them never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more
5. Expect less.

NOW…………………………………………

Enough of that crap.
The donkey later came back and bit the hell out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

Moral of the story…………………………
No matter what life throws at you, keep going. The best is yet to come, just keep going and please don’t bite anybody o…

Funny story

A young man had been cheating on his wife with his wife's best friend & colleague "Funke". One friday, he tells his wife he has 2 travel for three days on an official appointment. Unknown 2 his wife, he had already made special arrangements with Funke d wife's best friend. On gettin home d 3rd day, he meets only his kids & maid & was told mummy hasn't bn back since he left 4 his trip on friday. Flabbergasted n shocked he decides 2 wait 4 his wife n his wife then returns home in d evenin n dis ensues;
Husband: honey, where have u been 4 three days & how come u left d kids all alone with d maid?
Wife: Darling, hmmm, immediately after u left Funke called me 2 tell me she just lost her dad. I had rush off 2 her place & couldn't leave her immediately cos she was such in a terrible n emotional state.
Husband: which Funke is dat?
Wife: Funke now, my best friend n colleague @ work....
Husband: (Angrily he screams @ her) God punish u there, u dis h****t!
Wife: darling please believe me now why r u calling me a h****t?
Husband: nothing! But God go still punish u, idiot!

Funny story

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello.
He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from.
So he says, do you know me?
To which she replies,” I think you are the father of one of my kids.”
Now his mind travels back to the time he has been unfaithful to his wife and says “My God, are you the person I had something to do with and I forgot to collect your number 5years ago or the lady I was too drunk to ask for her name when I was on a trip to Abuja 3years ago???
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, No. "I am your son’s school teacher"…

Funny Prayer

We had visitors at dinner time. It was time for them to leave when our daughter Maureen offered to lead us in prayer;

"Dear God, I thank you for giving me such lovable parents,

Thank you for the visitors and their children who ate all my cookies and

ice cream. Bless them so that they shall never have to come to our home for supper. Forgive the boy who was wrestling with my sister on her bed and this naughty girl for eating sausage on my brother?s pants as he slept on the settee, and this winter please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies in Daddy's Cell phone, & build shelter to the homeless men who sleep with mum when dad is at work ..?Amen.

Tell me ur view.

The dictionary has not been able to fully explain the meaning of the words Complete and Finished.
While some say both mean the same thing, others insist they mean different things. For example.
When you marry the right person, you are complete.
When you marry the wrong person, you are finished.
When the right person hooked with the wrong person, you are completely finished.

Tell me ur view.